So that popped up on my Facebook the other night and while normally these types of posts are something I scroll past because typically they talk about being proud of negative personality traits, this time I was like, well damn, me tho!
While that may sound ridiculous it’s been something I’ve been thinking about a lot lately. If you caught me on Instagram the other night I wrote an overly long and overly sentimental post about that hustle life and I still have more feelings in me so bear with me I guess? Or stick around for some straight up inspiration.
I’ve been realizing lately that I’m not good with free time. I’m pretty sure I’ve talked about it on here a lot. I have to schedule free time, I’m working on it. But I can’t help that I hustle. I was raised that way! For as much as my parents have a very traditionally gendered relationship (breadwinner and home maker, at least in my youth) they both always raised me to be totally and completely independent. I was raised to know how to take care of myself, fix my own car, pay my own bills, keep my own home, etc without needing a man to help me with those things. I was raised essentially to want a companion, not a caretaker and it’s a lesson I treasure because I have such an amazing relationship and financially we are on such equal footing. We made the transition to joined finances smoothly and efficiently without a lot of weird emotional attachment and power struggles which is AWESOME and I definitely credit our upbringings with that.
Not only that but I’m thankful for my work ethic because I paid my own way through college, only graduated with 20k in debt (side note: it’s sad that the word only precedes an amount of Twenty.Thousand. Dollars. ugh), and we bought a house by the time we were 24. Because of this work ethic I have I don’t doubt my ability to do things. I know they’re going to be tough and I know I’ll be tired a lot but I get shit done y’all and I am not modest about that point.
When I took my Myers Briggs and I got INFJ I identified with so much of it except for the one part that said something about how I was too dreamy to maybe ask for things I need or follow things through to the end. and my response to this, out loud was “Nope, I get what I want.”
I love this about myself. I love that I’m not satisfied with endless Netflix time and leisure time. I love that I’ll take on any opportunity to be more productive or make more money. I also love that because I have friends now (which sounds really sad, like I promise I had friends before this year, we’re just all really far apart!) scheduling friendship time that also doubles as work time (LadiesWriteOut!) is so freaking great for me. Even when it’s just brunch and no work I am okay with that time. Friendship has become another “worthwhile pursuit” in my book and a worthy use of my time (wow that makes me sound a little heartless.)
I love that I don’t stop the hustle. Because it ultimately means I’m more fulfilled and I’m proud of myself. Right now my future plan involves being almost totally debt free by the time we start having kids, this includes the mortgage!
I mean, my one goal in this life is to be a good mother to my children. Honestly. And the fact that I am actively envisioning a future where I can stay at home with them and not only that, but still be able to work at home because of the work i’m putting in now is the most exciting thing I can imagine. If all goes well we can pay off our debt, have kids, still put in hella money to our retirement accounts and savings, I can do a job from home or from a kid friendly workspace that I love, I can utilize my skills that I’ve been developing this whole time with all my side work, and hopefully I can freaking release a bomb ass planner that will help other people.
I love the hustle because I may be tired now. I may not have many “days off” now. I may work a lot. But Future Me is set. Future Me has a solid life for her kids. Future Me has job skills that can’t be beat. Future Me has followed her passions and chased her damn dreams and ended up in the best place possible. I hustle now not just to give my future children a life better than mine (and mine you I’ve had a pretty great life) but because I want more. I want so much more.
And I’m going to get it.